Lingering Unwillingly

I was doomed from the start, I knew there was going to be no end to desiring him.

Then, it was welcomed. I flourished in the desire, danced in it as if it was spring rain.

Now it lingers around me as a heavy fog.

The absence of you feels like the absence of myself.

I consider myself a consistent yearner.

but I did not know true yearning till I was faced with the loss of you.

without you each passing day becomes brighter,

but the sun has yet to come from behind the clouds.

the light comes within me, a bright orb of light I ignite myself.

you are the sun.

I found myself with my arms wrapped around another, my fingers combing through his golden hair.

for a moment, as our bodies intertwined, I felt whole.

I relished the moment as he sank into my embrace.

three words lingered on the tip of my tongue.

not for him.

but for you.